related links: Journal Archive last month: February 2002 2002-02-27 Oh No! 2002-02-26 Fetch Temari and Art Gaskells Schedule change 2002-02-19 Valentine's Day Weekend Gifts from Japan 2002-02-13 What I've been up to Alice in Wonderland, 1933 2002-02-12 New Look!

HOME > JOURNAL > MARCH 2002

Journal (The Ember Update)

Wednesday, March 27

Yay!

San Francisco's Musee Mecanique has been saved!

Portland Travelogue

Here are a few photos from the recent Portland trip. Please feel free to view the rest, including my brief trip report, in my Portland Travelogue. Portland is definitely worth revisiting.

Click to expand.

Saturday, March 23

Outrageous and offensive (at first)

...or Something to be Learned from Eleanor Roosevelt

After a very brief look at this White House web page, titled USA Patriot Registration ("because non-traitors have nothing to hide"), I was outraged and offended. Upon immediate closer examination I realized my error. Silly me, it's .org, not .gov.

Sarcasm is defined as, "A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule." One of the reasons we often find the cynical nature of sarcasm engaging is because it reveals the uncomfortable nature of the truth, or our fears of what the truth might be.

In the late spring or early summer of 2001, a few months before my dad died (and prior to September 11), he commented to me that he could see signs of McCarthyism creeping back into politics. He thought the trend dangerous. How I wish he were here to witness current events (or maybe I'm glad he's not), for my dad's observation is becoming increasingly validated.

I'm three quarters the way through volume one of Blanche Wiesen Cook's biography of Eleanor Roosevelt, and I've noticed some interesting corollaries with the world of today.

1. Big business, including oil interest, was a significant factor in policy making then and now. Law and opinion on what was "good for the citizen" were often subjugated, bypassed, changed or deferred in favor of the almighty dollar.
   
   The second to last question in the patriotism form gives a telling option: "U.S. Foreign Policy ... is totally fair and NOT based on the financial interests of Big Oil. "
   
   
2. In the 1920s, John Edgar Hoover and the FBI had begun compiling files on those people they suspected of "unAmerican" activities. (Cook says Eleanor Roosevelt's vast FBI file is one of the wonders of modern history.) People who took exception in any way, small or large, to government policies were earmarked and harrassed. People who were simply suspected of being "Bolshevists"—often with no shred of proof—were subject to ill treatment, job loss, defamation, imprisonment, deportation, and in some cases even death.
   
   In small print at the bottom of the faux patriot registration form it says:
   
   "By submitting this questionnaire, I hereby relinquish my right to habeas corpus and all other supposed rights afforded me by the Bill Of Rights. If I am a citizen of the United States and I submit this form, I acknowledge that the Department of Justice and/or the FBI may use this information to arrive at the conclusion that I am some kind of pinko, commie, freedom-hating towel-headed homo who deserves to get a steel-tipped federal jackboot shoved up my treacherous ass, so help me John Ashcroft."
   
   My mom has been encouraging me to apply with the US Department of State, for whom my father worked for over 40 years. I've been hesitant. I'm not too sure I want the government digging into the lives and opinions of myself and my friends ... especially under the current administration.
   
   
3. People who didn't hold opinions in line with those in power were actively dismissed with any number of invalidating phrases or actions, in an attempt to render their opinions and voices mute. This is an age-old tactic, used on members of the "wrong" race, sex, nationality, age, political leanings, etc.
   
   In addition, the government and a majority of the population were (and are) all too willing to adopt an attitude based on only the most superficial understanding of a situation. Those who urge that we peel back the onion's layers and look more deeply are too often part of this dismissed and invalidated minority. Peeling back is hard. It causes one to realize the pain and suffering of others that, when unchecked and long endured, cause desperate or calculated acts of violence.
   
   A good essay on this very topic is "The Politics of Pain and Pleasure," by Robert Jensen (thanks Rash).

There is one corollary I hope to find between the adult life of Eleanor Roosevelt and the voice of dissent today. When Eleanor matured and decided to do something about political and societal situations she disagreed with, she stuck to her guns and publicly fought her battles in the face of overwhelming opposition. She won some and lost some, but she wouldn't have made any progress if she hadn't held strongly to her beliefs, and persisted in her attempts to make the world a better place (through understanding and action). I hope those who disagree with our war on terrorism, our war on drugs, or any declared war, persist in trying to create change using increasingly wise ways, in the hopes of improving life everywhere.

I've never been an activist, but in some ways the notion is increasingly appealing. How does one become involved in encouraging change? What ways are the most effective? Perhaps I don't really know what I'm talking about, but marching in protest seems passé, or at the very least a lot of energy is spent with very little tangible result. I've just barely scratched the surface of these kinds of considerations, but the main goals appear to be education and change through accepted channels.

A month or so back I heard someone on the radio, an African-American musician whose name I never caught (after listening to him being interviewed for 20 minutes ... not very good promotion), state the following:

"It shouldn't be a war on terrorism. It should be a war on militarism."

--

By the way, has George W. Bush used the word "compassion" for anyone (besides assumedly "patriotic" US citizens) lately? A search on Google for "George W Bush compassion" yielded an interesting article on why the President seems to now have far fewer gaffes when speaking publicly.

Work News

My manager at the art gallery found someone to fill my position while I was in Houston. I'll be looking for work again come Monday.

My two-week stint in Houston went well, and now I have some additional pieces for my portfolio, including the design and detailed style guide I developed for the ChevronTexaco project.

When I got home and checked my email this morning, I discovered a message from another recruiter wanting to talk with me about a three-month "Human Factors Analyst" position in South San Francsico. The email was encouraging, since this was the second recruiter to find my resume online and contact me this month. The regrettable part of the situation is that she sent her email the day I left for Houston, and I didn't see it 'til today, almost two weeks later. A phone call to her revealed that they've already submitted a candidate for the position. She requested I send her my resume for future possibilities. Oh well.

However there's other interesting news. While in Houston I also received an email from John, a guy who headed the team I worked with at Fannie Mae (through CDG, my previous employer). He's a director level guy and is looking to hire someone. John sent me the job announcement, and requested that I call if interested. I reviewed the description and called, and got a good sense of what the project is about. I've also talked with the Product Manager, Caroline, and will talk with two more people associated with the project/Fannie Mae to get a well-rounded idea of what the position entails. I know and have had good working relationships with all of these people. The other plus is that the salary would be fabulous, and Fannie Mae has better benefits and perqs than any company I've ever encountered.

Now for the downsides. Firstly, the position is back in DC, and if I actually got the job and moved back I'd always long to return to California (which I've quickly grown to love). Secondly, my move would cause Rash to have to reevaluate his living and working situation. And finally, the position requests strength in a couple of skills I don't currently have. This last issue may or may not be an insurmountable hurdle, and my further conversations with Fannie Mae should nail down this point of concern. The fact that they've worked with me in a slightly different capacity, know I've moved to California, and have still chosen to send me the announcement is very positive indeed.

It seems wise to apply for the position no matter what, and Fannie Mae hopes to make a decision in 4-6 weeks. Perhaps in the meantime some other opportunity will surface.

Wednesday, March 13

In Houston

Well, here I am. Last week I was contacted by a recruiter wanting to submit my resume, which he'd found on-line, to one of his clients (Cap Gemini Ernst & Young). As a result I was hired for a two week job in Houston. (Too bad it's not Austin!) I can't tell you how overjoyed I am doing some web work. For example, when I told this turn of events to my Palo Alto friend E over the phone, one of the first things he said was that I sounded "so happy," and I am. :o)

The team here (8 people, 5 from CGE&Y) is high-quality and professional, and man do they have their process down (the traditional "Rational Unified Process" developed by software engineers). My last employer, CDG, could really learn something from the RUP approach.

Anyway, we're working on a Plumtree portal project for Chevron Texaco. CGE&Y brought me in as the User Interface Designer, basically to put the spit and polish on the portal. I've never worked with Plumtree before, and it's a mixed bag. Plumtree definitely has its positive points, but one has to do some serious work-around coding to accommodate good usability functionality (at least for this project). But take that statement with a grain of salt ... the only other portal projects I've worked on were home-grown.

Next: Portland

Rash and I had already bought plane tickets to Portland, Oregon this weekend, so instead of being flown back to the Peninsula, my "new" employer is flying me to Portland to meet him there. We'll be getting together with my evolt.org co-founders Erika and Amanda (and hubby Tom) for dinner Friday, and maybe some jaunting around in the afternoon if Erika's schedule permits. Rash goes back home Saturday, and I'll be staying that night at Erika's. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm excited, I hear Portland is a fun city, though the weather probably won't be optimal this time of year.

Guessing at the consequences

The only down side to this whole thing (then again, maybe not) is that I'll probably be unemployed again once this project is over. I didn't give my manager (at the gallery) much notice ... like, less than 24 hours ... but if you've been following my journal, I'm sure you can see that I have little cause to feel loyal to the gallery (and there's more stuff I haven't bothered to report here). I told Anne that I'd still be willing to work evenings and weekends when I return, but my guess is that she's so pissed off at me that she won't give me the chance.

In fact, I've had reports from E and another client, who happened to stop by on Sunday to pick up his picture framing and artwork, that she's claiming I don't work there any more. She was reportedly unpleasant to the client after he asked when I'd be in, saying twice that yes, his framing was done, but no, it wasn't there. Finally the client told her that Don had called him specifically to alert him that it was ready for pick up, and only at that point did Anne relent and give him his stuff. But that's Anne for you, letting her emotions get in the way of her professionalism.

Well, no matter, if I don't have a job I'll find something else. And who knows, maybe this two-week stint will somehow assist me in finding more web work (CGE&Y have a couple offices in the Bay Area). So far they seem quite pleased with what I've done. Here's hoping...

Thursday, March 7

Temari Firsts

Finally, here's a photo of the first Temari Ball Kerin did (bottom ball), as well as my initial three (top was my first).

Making these requires some manual dexterity, an ability to think geometrically, and most of all, patience! Rash showed me a couple books with advanced patterns, and boy do they put these to shame. Still, we're proud of what we've learned so far, and look forward to advancing our skills.

Christmas ornaments for sale! :o)

Wednesday, March 6

Secret Agents' Ball

After an aborted evening of waltzing last Friday night (I was exhausted and Rash and I were both famished so we watched part of the lesson and left), I managed to get myself to go to the Peers Secret Agents' Ball on Saturday. I didn't know anyone there, and as I told Ammy via email, the band was totally out of its league for the "secret agent" music they were trying to play (like "Back in the USSR" on strings and piano), the acoustics were terrible, there were no refreshments (save water and a bar), and the $20 admission was way too much for what one got.

BUT ... I danced a lot, some of the costumes were really great (a top-notch Austin Powers), the people were friendly, and I met and talked with a couple folks, including Joan Walton (a local dance teacher I met a few years back at one of the Cincinnati Vintage Dance Weeks I attended). After a while, though, I got tired of being there alone, and the deteriorating music drove me away an hour before the dance ended.

Next month Rash and I are looking forward to trying the Friday Night Waltz again. The little bit of Joan's "Spanish Waltz" class we watched in progress piqued Rash's interest, and I'm eager to try more dancing with him.

Am I fanning the flames or blowing them out?

I was wondering where the last week went, and other than work and Temari (I finished two more balls), many hours were eaten up by my renewed job search. I've managed to find and apply for almost 40 job openings in the last week alone, which took between 15 and 20 hours. I'd probably be better off getting a part-time job. How depressing.

There certainly are more job openings now that we're into the new year, but I'm not feeling particularly hopeful. Sending out over 100 resumes over three months and getting only two nibbles really makes the whole exercise seems like a pointless waste of time. It doesn't help that my friend Erik (in Austin) overheard someone in a bookstore say they'd received 1200 resumes for a web design position. That's insane.

I've heard from various sources that it takes a month for every $10K earned, so that means I have at least 3 more months of this grueling and disheartening searching. I truly feel like giving up. Some of the positions I've applied for aren't even web related, and no responses from those either. My manager at the gallery has started advertising for a part- or full-time art consultant/frame designer (to replace me if I find another job), and all but one of the resumes she's received is from an unemployed techie looking for something "in the meantime." I bet most employers advertising what are perceived as low-skilled jobs is receiving resumes like my manager.

So I guess I'm still fanning the flames, but I'm thinking about options to the web field. Do I want to go back to school? A class in something might be worthwhile, but I'm not particuarly interested in being a full-time student. What I really want to do is quit everything and just be a starving artist. I even suggested that to my mom. She said she thought me pursuing my art in my free time was a really good idea. When I'm not working. Bummer.

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