related links: Journal Archive last month: December 2001 2001-12-27 Open mouth, insert foot... 2001-12-19 A happy and sad day Guts (The Real Ambassador) 2001-12-18 Trading memos 2001-12-16 Megway Angry, and I think justifiably so My new Palo Alto friend, "E" 2001-12-11 Lucid dreaming California Bay Area drivers Personal ads on CraigsList.com

HOME > JOURNAL > JANUARY 2002

Journal (The Ember Update)

Wednesday, January 30

<later> I just found the most curious thing.</later>

Here's a fabulous long-haired babe I photographed for Andy. She'd just cut her hair. It had been lying on the floor by a few inches.

A little excitement

You may recall a few weeks ago I mentioned that there were some good things happening for evolt.org. Well, I can tell you about one of them. In December one of my fellow admins, Javier (in Chile), was contacted by O'Reilly author Louis Rosenfeld. He and Peter Morville are writing the second edition of their book Information Architecture for the World Wide Web. Lou said he was interested in doing a case study chapter on evolt.org, and of course we said yes!

To facilitate discussion we set up a new email list for interested parties to join (including Lou), and spent a good part of this month answering his questions. Today Lou announced that he was finished with his first draft of the chapter, and asked Javier and one other person to review and provide feedback. Javier picked me (wow, thanks!), and I've just received the Word document. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! The chapter is very positive about evolt.org overall.

Still, there's no guarantee that the chapter will be published. As Lou said to us, "Chapters get deleted at the last second, though I'm very certain that wouldn't happen here [...] And as I'd mentioned once before, even good stuff can end up on the cutting room floor for various reasons." But he added, "That said, it's probably the chapter I'm most anxious to write." Well, now it's nearing completion. Keep your fingers crossed!

On another note, I have begun the work needed to revamp my web site. I worked out the new Information Architecture yesterday, and will tackle the redesign soon.

Also, I heard back from another résumé submission yesterday, and am now waiting to see if a meeting gets set up. The work would be freelance, and the pay structure needs more explanation before I'm convinced to take the job, but it looks like a possiblity.

Monday, January 28

Tidbits for the future

I didn't get the Yahoo job, even though much of the interview went well. I will think twice before I go for another Web Developer job, even if it's front-end. I was embarrassed by my inability to answer a couple of the questions. Still, I've rekindled my efforts in finding and applying for jobs, as I see the pace of job postings picking up after the Holidays.

I've been working on posting some of my illustrations and graphics. Check them out if you like, I'm not sure if I should be pleased or horrified. I have very mixed reactions to some of them.

The more I fill out this site the more I realize I really need to completely redo it. The IA is woeful (among other things) and if I'm pointing potential employers here I need to present my best face. This definitely isn't it.

Tuesday, January 22

Interview

Through a rather fortunate "in" on a not-really-public job alert for a position at Yahoo!, I've garnered a 1-hour in-person interview tomorrow afternoon. The position is for a front-end web developer working on a large project. I'm nervous but excited to finally have an interview somewhere, no matter the outcome. I'll let you know how it goes.

Lost Friends

Today I heard from Roy, an old high school friend, via email. If my memory is correct, we haven't been in touch since around 1986. I sent him an email in return (even though I know I owe many of you emails, sorry!), and hopefully I'll hear back from him.

Circumstances which developed around Roy and his girlfriend-at-the-time, Rachel, were fodder for the dissolution of my many year relationship with Kathy, my best friend from 5th to 12th grade. Because of a joking remark on my part, which Roy passed on to Rachel, and then apparently Rachel to Kathy, Kathy accused me of trying to break the couple up (which was not at all the case!).

However, Kathy's accusations weren't made directly to me, but through a number of classmates who individually accosted me, expressing their shock at my alleged intentions. After discussing the matter with each of them in turn (and hearing of the names my best friend was calling me in the process), my classmates acknowledged that the whole thing was an overblown drama built around duplicitous behavior not in my nature.

Rather than going further into the nitty-gritty of a situation long past, suffice it to say in the end Kathy gave me several ultimatums for the continuance of our friendship. To me a true friendship is not sustained around a set of rules that must not be broken, or lines that cannot be crossed. Instead it takes things like trust, care, tolerance, open communication, faith, and honesty. So when I was given ultimatums in response to a misunderstanding, I realized that I could no longer be friends with Kathy. I wasn't willing to have a conditional friendship. Also, since Kathy chose not to discuss her concerns with me before spreading false and unflattering rumors around school, it was clear to me that the lines of communication between us had deteriorated considerably.

I should interject here that there was undoubtedly more behind Kathy's hostile reaction than this one incident warranted. After a long history as childhood friends, it seems likely that some other angers must have been building in Kathy for a long time. I can't claim to know why things happened the way they did; I'm just trying to acknowledge that there must be more to the story than meets the eye.

I'm sure Kathy was shocked when I told her of my decision (she'd demanded one within a given time-frame), which was to decline to meet her conditions, and thus end the friendship. For one of the few times I'd ever been aware of, Kathy was dumbfounded and speechless. There had been a long history of her accusing me of some illusory transgression and demanding apology or retribution. Even though I often had no idea (or honest recollection) of what I'd done wrong, I'd unfailingly acquiesce for the sake of our friendship. That day in 1984 was possibly the first time I'd stood up to her and said, in effect, that I was no longer going to behave according to her rules or bow to her demands. That act of unaccustomed defiance on my part is probably a major factor in why Kathy has treated me rudely and with disdain almost every time I've encountered her since, even though I've made a concerted effort to be friendly and polite. It's a sad state of affiars.

I still care about Kathy, and in my own way I still have love for the friend I lost long ago. Once I truly love someone I guess I always will (on some level), even if that love becomes complicated by later events and feelings.

Wednesday, January 16

Like Les Baxter? I like his "official" site. I had "Space Escapade," at least until my flood. It's a fabulous cover, but the LP itself is just okay.

Scratch that

Received this email from my main contact at Oracle today:

Marlene,

I apologize to keep you waiting. I have been going back and forth with my boss regarding several issues regarding the position. After thinking carefully about the skills we need, we decided to go with someone else who was less of a designer like yourself and had stronger html and dhtml skills. I wish you the best of luck with future jobs, and I hope that you would be willing to do some accessibility design and programming for Oracle in the future. There are other departments that will have needs soon, and I would like to hand your name and resume out to several project managers. Again, thank you for your interest, and my apologies for having you wait.

Respectfully,
[contact's name]

Oh well. You never know, maybe something could still come from it.

On the positive side, as a result of interviewing for Oracle I've recognized how beneficial it would probably be for me to learn XML in earnest, and I'm a good distance down that path now. I've realized it could even be useful for a couple of personal projects.

Not much else to report this week. 'Til next time!

Wednesday, January 9

Odds and Ends

Was having a good day until I opened a letter from Kaiser Permanente in response to an application I recently submitted for health insurance. They're denying me because of a back problem which was cleared up 2-1/2 years ago. Guess I'll be filing a reconsideration form to see if they'll change their mind with more info.

Also, I didn't hear back from Oracle today as I'd hoped. My couple of phone interviews over the last few days seemed to go well, but now I'm fretting that my lack of XML experience might do me in as a candidate. Yesterday I went to the nearby Borders and bought a couple books on XML and I've started reading. I think XML will be very good for me to know regardless of the prospect with Oracle. Also reviewed Aural Style Sheets on the W3C site, and they look pretty straightforward and could have interesting applications.

Recently finished reading Baghdad Without a Map (and other misadventures in Arabia) by Tony Horwitz. It made me laugh out loud several times, and was thoroughly enjoyable and enlightening. I've been poking more at Brian Eno's A Year with Swollen Appendices, which I've been reading on and off for the last year. It's really a great book; the man's brilliant. There's just so much to digest and think about that I find myself having to put it down and ponder. The most recent notable quote I encountered, where Eno himself quotes from Face of the Gods, "If you don't call it art, you're likely to get a better result." I have more quotes from Eno on a page from my travelogue. I was really looking forward to sharing this book with my dad.

Palo Alto

I really like living in Palo Alto, despite the highbrow and fashion-conscious airs put on by the local well-to-do (many of them exotic foreign nationals). Yesterday I took a 2-hour walk around town, down to University Arts where I bought myself a 42" T-square, then past the two local theatres to see what's playing (the Stanford is showing "The Scarlet Empress" over this coming weekend ... a visually fabulous movie with Marlene Dietrich I *must* see on the big screen, and then a complete retrospective on Cary Grant films starting the 17th), the gelato place for some chocolate/hazelnut gelato (yum!), to the drug store for some decongestants (I have a cold), and then to the massive Borders.

I should walk around Palo Alto more, there's so much cool stuff to see. For example, the Borders occupies another old, now defunct theatre (the marvelous "Varsity" neon sign is kept in good working order), and the architecture is quite grand, the portico like I'd imagine on a small Italian villa. I mentioned the upcoming "Cary Grant, The Complete Films, Part One: 1932 - 1937" at the Stanford Theatre (6 blocks down). I looked at the brochure for the shows and I'm really blown away what they're doing. Every single one of the 25 films from Cary Grant's FIRST FIVE YEARS in 7 weekends. And for so cheap ($6 for the double features, and they're all double features) ... and they're getting some of the original nitrate prints! I'd love to see them all but I'm trying to be realistic and have noted the "must sees." Rash gets back from overseas just in time, maybe he'll be interested too. He's having a good time, by the way.

Saturday, January 5

Retch.

Work update

If you've been wondering what's happened with Tim and my paycheck, I did finally get paid. After the initial memo exchange, Tim sent a slew of 4 more memos to all the stores detailing various gripes he had and berating more or less everyone. In one of them he informed us that because of "one employee" he'd decided to change our pay periods to follow the state's standard. It just so happens that this affords him 10 days to pay us, rather than 7 if he were to keep to his atypical pay period schedule. Still, it's within his right to do so.

Then he called my manager and complained about me and my salary (which isn't enough for me to support myself on). "Why is she getting so much? I think we should demote Don, lower his salary, and make Marlene Assistant Manager. That would justify her pay."

When Anne told me this I was incredulous. Tim really dislikes the fact that I'm not a rug. The thought of him promoting me to justify my salary blew my mind. Of all the sales people in our numerous locations, Don is hands down the best and is just about Tim's longest-term employee (at three years). But that doesn't matter to Tim. It seems all he cares about is that my salary is "justified."

Thankfully Anne talked him out of the idea. When Anne told Don about it he said he'd have quit. He really dislikes Tim and the only reason he stays is for his salary and commissions.

UFOs

A couple of friends (Gina and Wolf) have requested my UFO stories. I have three.

(1)
I don't recall exactly how old I was the first time I saw a UFO, but it must have been around 1980 (give or take a year). It was well after dark, and my parents, brother and I were driving back from my Aunt Alta's in Rockville, MD. As we were tooling along we noticed lots of cars pulled over along the side of the highway. People were standing next to their vehicles looking into the sky. Of course we looked too.

The sky was cloudless; stars were visible. Also visible was something zipping around way up, dotted with numerous colored lights. It was moving unlike anything I'd ever seen, in ways that didn't seem possible for any known aircraft. It looked sort of like a squished flat-bottomed dome, though it was far enough away to really not see anything but a vague shape with lights.

Here is how it behaved: It would sit still for a bit, its myriad of lights blinking randomly, and then suddenly zip to the right and stop, then way to the left (instantly crossing a large expanse of the sky) and stop, then down a little towards the horizon, then—changing speed—it would slowly hover horizontally, putting across the sky. Stopping again, it would sit still for a while, followed by more zipping around at impossible speeds and distances, changing directions or stopping all on a dime.

Finally it zipped straight up, so quickly that it disappeared into the heavens.

While my dad focused on the road (we didn't stop) the rest of watched, and my mom and brother also remember the event to this day.

(2)
Two or three nights later I was home in the evening by myself. I decided to walk out to my parents back yard and look at the stars. Up I gazed and to my surprise there was the same UFO. This time it just sat there, high in the sky and nearly (but not quite) straight up from me, its lights winking and flashing. I stood and looked a long time, and it didn't move. I finally went inside, and then two hours later I walked outside again, and it was still there, just sitting. Eventually I went back inside and that was the last time I saw it.

(3)
Several years after that, in 1984, a few friends and I decided to have a camp-out in my back yard. We had two tents and a tarp, and while everyone else slept in tents, my friend Erika and I decided to brave the morning dew and sleep under the open sky. The sky was completely overcast with a thick, wooly cloud cover. The cloud blanket reflected the light pollution inevitable in the greater Washington DC metropolitan area.

Erika and I were nestled in our sleeping bags and had been talking more or less quietly for a couple of hours. Everyone else had long been tucked away in their tents and we could hear someone snoring lightly. It was getting late; we lay facing each other as we talked.

I was gazing over Erika's shoulder at the tops of the trees when I suddenly saw something drop out of the clouds for just a moment, hover very briefly, and then slip back up into the cover. It was shaped like this:

(Only it looked less like a cartoon.)

Startled, I jumped and urgently said, "WHAT WAS THAT?" Erika turned, looked and asked, "What was what?" Of course it was too late.

We lay there discussing what I'd seen, its shape, could it have been a plane, could it have been the moon, a blimp ... ? None of these seemed quite right to me.

About 10 minutes went by and I'd calmed down, when suddenly Erika grabbed me and yelled, "THERE IT IS!"

Instead of being in the sky over her shoulder, it had moved from north to south and was now over mine. "That's it," I exclaimed! We clutched each other excitedly and looked at the thing, now hanging silently and steadily just below the clouds. We trembled with excitement in our sleeping bags, trying to make logical sense of what we were seeing.

We couldn't figure it out. After a few minutes it slipped back into the clouds, never to be seen (by us) again. (And by the way, Erika Grim, where are you?)

(Closing Thought)
It sure seems likely we're not the only life forms in the universe. I used to participate in the SETI@home project (on the evolt.org team), but when I left my job and lost access to the computer I was using I never really bothered to get started back up. This was partly because I had a moral quandary over the whole project. I mean, what if it works? What if we were to actually make contact?

What happens every time two previously separated cultures come in contact with one another? Especially, what happens when one is much more powerful than the other? And if we were to be visited by beings from another planet, which one of us would be likely to be more powerful?

Thursday, January 3

Happy New Year!

Job News?

For the last three weeks I've been communicating with a recruiter about a possible 3-month contract opportunity at Oracle. The project sounds interesting (accessibility coding and documentation writing). Yesterday I got a call directly from Oracle, and the research scientist I'd be working with said of the candidates he'd considered/interviewed over the last month, my qualifications are the best he's seen. We've planned a phone interview for later today, and if that goes well I guess I'll get an in-person interview next. Keep your fingers crossed for me! (Still, I can't get my hopes up...)

Earthquakes

No, there wasn't one, at least not here. But in the middle of the night I awoke, and in my still-quite-groggy state I thought I could feel the bed trembling. By the time I'd come fully awake the sensation was no longer there. Was that a quake, thought I? Not according to this earthquake site, so I must have been dreaming.

I'm not relishing experiencing one, exactly, but when I was a kid and lived in Thailand we encountered one in the middle of a school-day, a gentle rocking that left a long crack in one of the school's external concrete walls. I must admit I'm curious, but not about the destruction and possible death a large one could bring.

Reflection on the passing of time

I'm constantly encountering new ways the death of my father has had impact on me. Yesterday I went shopping for a birthday card for my mom, and as I was standing at the display I couldn't keep the tears from running down my face. How many more years will I be able to buy her a card?

New years eve was a bit difficult too. The last week I found myself wanting to look forward to the end of the year so I could say, "thank goodness that's behind me," only I said that *last* year after going through my separation. Then as the last day of the year waned, I suddenly realized I didn't want the year to end because I didn't want to leave the last year I had with my dad.

Still, the key to happiness is embracing the gifts one has, and I have a lot of them. New years eve was wonderful. Rash took me dancing, and although I am more versed in the activity than he, we truly had a wonderful time. My mom and brother are in regular contact, and I have wonderful friends who keep up with me, even though I've moved so far away.

Treasure what you have!

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